Have you ever been told that, because you are (or have been) in an abusive relationship, you must be codependent? I have, and it’s not only a lie, but it can act as another blow to an already-damaged sense of self-worth. When it comes to abusive relationships, the myth of codependency tends to point fingers at the victim, as if w’re enabling the abuse because of our own internal deficits.
Thank you. I can honestly say I never obcessed with controling my ex-husban's behavior. I knew he would need to change by his own free will and from his own heart. I endeavored to change myself in the hopes of creating an stable, peaceful enviroment for my kids. As time went on I obcessed over getting away and being free. Most of the time I lived in a daze of sadness and fear, traumertized and confused to the point of being unable to act because with an abuser no matter how you handle the situation rightly or wrongly, it won't work. They have a come back for everything. Often contradicting their own self. Withnan abuser the name of the game is control, and they will say or do anything to be in control! They are obcessed with control and power over their victim!