Even Though Abuse Tactics are Universal, the Motives of Domestic Abusers Aren’t the Same
Not all abusers are created equal. Even though tactics and techniques often follow the same pattern in many toxic relationships, the underlying causes and motivations for mistreatment vary (but remember, causes are not the same as excuses). For example, Lundy Bancroft claims abusive behavior is a conscious choice, whereas Donald G. Dutton has observed through research from neurobiology as well as from analyzing the characteristics of certain personality disorders that “the simplistic notion that all abuse perpetrators choose to be abusive is contradicted by the work on subtypes and on impulsivity.”1
The reason some authors may claim all abusers are narcissistic manipulators who purposely mistreat their partners while others take a more empathetic view is likely because they’re focusing on a certain type of perpetrator rather than differentiating between the four basic subtypes. These subtypes have been developed by leading researchers and clinicians such as Neil Jacobson and John Gottman, Amy Holzworth-Munroe and Gregory Stuart, Donald G. Dutton, L. Kevin Hamberger and James E. Hastings, as well as others. In a very simplistic nutshell, the four types of abusers are:
Type I: Generally violent/antisocial
Type II: Family only
Type III: Dysphoric/borderline/survival-based
Type IV: Low-level antisocial
