Oh my gosh. The reasons for staying in abusive relationship above were almost word for word same as what a woman posted in an fb group I’m in!!!! She was surprised that nearly all replies told her to leave.
One of the reasons I feel led to share my story is because the the way abuse plays out, the decision to stay or not, the tactics of abuse, etc. are all so similar in toxic relationships. I've found it helps others to put a voice to something that is similar to their own experiences. I'm so sorry to hear that the person in your group didn't receive much support, however. Telling a woman to leave her relationship is the #1 no-no in domestic abuse advocacy. No one can tell another person when or if it's right to leave their relationship; this is an individual decision that must come from the heart and great discernment. Telling a woman to leave before she's ready does far more harm than good because it makes her feel defective, stupid, wrong for not wanting to leave. Also that advice itself can be very dangerous. It's at the time of leaving, or just after she's left, that violent abusers tend to turn murderous in cases where DV murder happens. The offender doesn't have to have ever been physically violent previously in order to get so enraged or depressed that he ends up killing his victim. A safety plan is always necessary before leaving. I pray that the person in your group is also seeking solid professional advice.
Excellent essay, Jenny!
Oh my gosh. The reasons for staying in abusive relationship above were almost word for word same as what a woman posted in an fb group I’m in!!!! She was surprised that nearly all replies told her to leave.
One of the reasons I feel led to share my story is because the the way abuse plays out, the decision to stay or not, the tactics of abuse, etc. are all so similar in toxic relationships. I've found it helps others to put a voice to something that is similar to their own experiences. I'm so sorry to hear that the person in your group didn't receive much support, however. Telling a woman to leave her relationship is the #1 no-no in domestic abuse advocacy. No one can tell another person when or if it's right to leave their relationship; this is an individual decision that must come from the heart and great discernment. Telling a woman to leave before she's ready does far more harm than good because it makes her feel defective, stupid, wrong for not wanting to leave. Also that advice itself can be very dangerous. It's at the time of leaving, or just after she's left, that violent abusers tend to turn murderous in cases where DV murder happens. The offender doesn't have to have ever been physically violent previously in order to get so enraged or depressed that he ends up killing his victim. A safety plan is always necessary before leaving. I pray that the person in your group is also seeking solid professional advice.
I misspoke trying to be brief. All replies were loving & urged her to seek her pastor’s or community’s help for her n her kids’ safety.
That's wonderful, then!
Please share the article with your FB group if you think it might be of help to anyone there.
Ok. Thanks. God bless you for sharing your story.