When we’ve been chronically abused and mistreated by an intimate partner, joy seems to drain from the soul. As the months and years pass, the idea of joyful existence seems a distant memory, something unattainable and extinct. The weariness of trying to cope with daily battles feels insurmountable.
Yet it doesn’t have to be that way. Purposefully bringing joy into what feels like a joyless existence will relax your nervous system, boost your immunity, and help release some of the brain fog caused by abuse and gaslighting.
If you don’t feel like laughing, try to laugh daily anyway. In this case, “fake it ‘til you make it” is excellent advice. Watched a funny YouTube video, listen to clean stand-up comedy, or do something silly with your children. Even if you feel too exhausted, when you make an effort to bring laughter into your life on a daily basis, the rewards will pay off tremendously.
“Laughter is the best medicine” is such a common phrase that we tend to shrug it off. Sure, it feels good to laugh—to really laugh, deep in the belly and firm in the spirit—but the actual benefits of laughter are often overlooked. It’s more than just a feel-good action (or reaction); laughter actually benefits our health, enriches our spirit, and can transform our minds from a state of discouragement to that of inner renewal and healing.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."
(Prov. 17:22, KJV)
Types of Laughter
19th century neurologist Guillaume Duchenne identified two types of laughter: spontaneous, involuntary laughter that leaves one breathless with joy and brings tears of humor to the eyes, and voluntary, deliberate laughter that reaches the mouth but not the eyes. Dr. Duchenne specialized in studying the full expression of humorous joy, which caused later scientists to name authentic laughter “Duchenne laughter” in his honor.
The two types of laughter engage different neural pathways in the brain. Duchenne laughter originates in the emotional centers of the brain, the amygdala and hypothalamus, which are the areas that are responsible for processing genuine emotions. These emotions travel from the brainstem to the facial muscles, causing us to laugh not just with our mouths, but in the crinkles of our eyes and in other bodily expressions. Voluntary laughter, on the other hand, is controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain, the area responsible for logical thinking, intricate planning, and decision making. We can decide to laugh as we turn our mouths upward in a grin, but the joy doesn’t reach our eyes.
Forced laughter isn’t bad, and can actually serve as a bridge between deliberate emotion and authentic laughter. “Fake it ‘til you make it” isn’t such wonky advice after all. Have you ever heard something that didn’t strike you as particularly funny, but you found yourself genuinely laughing anyway, simply because others around you were caught up in boisterous laughter? That’s a clear example of how voluntary laughter can blessedly change to involuntary laughter.
Amusement does have an aspect of good inasmuch as it is useful for human living. As man sometimes needs to give his body rest from labors, so also he sometimes needs to rest his soul from mental strain that ensues from his application to serious affairs. This is done by amusement.
(St. Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on the Ethics of Aristotle, Book IV, Lecture 16)
Health Benefits
The benefits of laughter has been studied by biologists, psychologists, theologians, neuroscientists, philosophers and more. The proven benefits include:
Muscle relaxation
An improved immune system
Relief from anxiety
Stress reduction
Mood improvement
Increase in spiritual stamina
Personal resilience and improved sense of self
Neurological benefits—laughter is a signal to the body that it’s ok to relax
Releases “feel-good” hormones: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin
Increases emotional well-being
Helps aid in thinking more clearly and in creativity
Prevents heart disease
Aids in relaxation for up to 45 minutes after a genuine bout of hearty laughter
Socially, laughter
Strengthens relationships
Helps create a sense of safety
Increases bonding
Aids in productive teamwork
Aids in a sense of connectivity to others
Helps reduce conflict
Now such like words or deeds wherein nothing further is sought than the soul’s delight, are called playful or humorous. Hence it is necessary at times to make use of them, in order to give rest, as it were, to the soul. This is in agreement with the statement of the Philosopher (Ethic. iv, 8) that “in the intercourse of this life there is a kind of rest that is associated with games”: and consequently it is sometimes necessary to make use of such things.
(St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae II-II, q. 168, a. 2)
So laugh. And laugh again. Even if your situation seems grim, the gift of laughter is something you can give yourself every day. Because of the amazing way God created our minds, we can actually build a neuropathway of laughter in our brains, which will give us the ability to more easily engage in authentic laughter.
Bringing joy into our lives—in whatever way we can—is a core component to healing. It increases creativity, decreases despondency, and helps us become the people God created us to be.
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Wow, I needed this. Thank k you!!!!!!!