Ways to Spiritually Protect Yourself in Abusive Situations
“At the root of every act of violence against one’s neighbor there is a concession to the ‘thinking’ of the evil one, the one who ‘was a murderer from the beginning’” (St. John Paul II).
The Catechism of the Catholic Church speaks clearly about “the seed of discord and all consequent evils” (CCC 2486). Although this section of the Catechism is discussing the subject of lying, it also describes the nature of gaslighting (which is a form of lying) and other abusive manipulations.
In my book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse I write extensively about the evils of abuse, separating the actions from the person committing them:
Abuse can legitimately be called evil. Please don’t get me wrong—I’m not accusing anyone of being demonic at the core of their innermost selves. We’re all made in the image of God, and our true selves reflect His image. It’s when a person fails to live within their true, God-given image—and instead live in a part of themselves that reflect volatile emotions and dangerous traits—that the serious issues occur.
That’s why it’s so important to separate evil people from evil deeds. Just because someone does evil things doesn’t make them a chronically evil person. However, what I am emphatically stating is that abuse, itself, is an evil act—in all its categories and forms. This is something we must be absolutely firm about, and not excuse away under any minimizing secular talk of “disordered” or even merely “cruel.” Yes, abusive behavior is disordered and unjustly cruel. But it also, and primarily, reeks of the stench of evil.
We can’t think of such people as devils or evil personalities, because most likely they’re not (true psychopaths and sociopaths are in a class by themselves, so I won’t go there). Rather, these individuals are damaged, shame-filled human beings who are taking their damage out on their loved ones in the most unhealthy, devastating ways possible. Such people need to undergo a true conversion and healing, admit to their actions and motives, and seek professional help for their abusive inclinations.
Yet no matter how internally compromised a person is, we always need to remember one thing—there is no excuse for abuse. None whatsoever. The more someone tries to excuse his behavior and blame it on externals (his childhood, his parents, his siblings, his ex, stress at work, alcohol, you), the easier it is to see that their not willing to let go of the control they seek to have over you.
(Jenny duBay, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns)
Because of the sinful nature of abusive dynamics—and how giving in to the inclination to manipulate, gaslight, and use others opens the door for further temptations by and involvement with the evil one—it’s important for those of us who are exposed to this type of environment be prepared. It’s also important to understand that the evil one takes our own wounds and tries to use them to his advantage in order to entice us into deeper levels of despair, fear, angst, or turmoil.
According to exorcist Msgr. Stephen Rossetti in his article “Satan Exploits Our Wounds”:
For our discernment, it is important to note that Satan exploits our wounds. If we struggle with depression, he will do everything he can to exaggerate our depressions, including filling the person's mind with depressing thoughts, hopelessness, despair and even suicidality. If fear is our weakness, he will exaggerate our fears and tempt us to be terrified of him and not trust in God. If we have been abused in childhood, the Evil One will fill our minds with feelings of worthlessness, self-hatred, and isolation.
How do we know if Satan is directly involved in someone's life or are their problems strictly psychological? One place to look is in the severity and the onset of the attacks. Satan exaggerates our weaknesses and what should have been a “normal” depressive episode is then exaggerated into a full blown, unmanageable crisis. Second, demonic attacks often occur suddenly and without the usual psychological triggers. Third, when deliverance prayers are said during a Satanic attack, the crisis often abates quickly to a more manageable and typical problem.
However, there’s no need to despair or allow ourselves to sink into fear—after all, that’s exactly what the evil one wants us to do. Instead, we can rest assured that not only can we seek protection from the wiles of demonic influence, but we also have protection far more powerful than they are—the sacred Blood of Christ and the fellowship of all the angels and saints in heaven.
We can—and should—spiritually protect ourselves from the evils of abuse and the temptation to fall into despair or fear. Thankfully, there’s an easy way to do that.
I make it a point to begin every day with the Perimeter Prayer because I find it so crucial to seal myself and my loved ones in a blanket of Divine Mercy and holy protection. This prayer is perfect for all situations, and is an excellent way to start the morning.
Perimeter Prayer:
Lord Jesus Christ, in Thy love and mercy establish a perimeter of protection around all of us and all our loved ones and those who pray for us, and their loved ones. May Thy Holy Angels guard us and all our possessions, establishing a perimeter of protection around us, rendering us immune from any kind of demonic influence. We ask that no demonic bondage, door, portion, demonic entity, portal, astral projections, or disembodied spirit may enter the space of one hundred yards in all directions of each of us. We ask that any demons within this vicinity or any that should try to enter here be rendered deaf, dumb and blind: that Thou would strip them of all weapons, armor, power, illusions, and authority; that Thou would bind, rebuke and disable them from communicating or interacting with each other in any way. Remove them, sending them directly to the foot of Thy Cross. Jesus, Son of the Most High, I ask this in Thy Glorious and Most Holy Name. Amen.
For a collection of powerful deliverance and protection prayers, I highly recommend the prayers from Msgr. Rossetti’s Saint Michael Center, as well as Fr. Chad Ripperger’s book, Deliverance Prayers: For Use By the Laity.
Renouncing lies and reclaiming God’s truth also protect us against the harms of abuse and the confusion of gaslighting. For example, if you’ve been told that you’re ugly and worthless, rather than giving in to the temptation of believing the lie, renounce it in the name of Jesus and reclaim His truth.
In the name of Jesus, I renounce the lie that I’m ugly. In the name of Jesus, I take back the truth that I am beautifully made in the image of God.
In the name of Jesus, I renounce the lie that I’m worthless. In the name of Jesus, I take back the truth that I’m a beloved daughter of the Father, a cherished bride of Christ.
Our faith is full of amazing and powerful ways of intercession and protection against any and all harms. Along with protection prayers and renouncing lies, other ways of keeping ourselves spiritually renewed, refreshed, and safeguarded include:
Frequent reception of the sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist
Sacramentals such as the holy water, the Rosary or the St. Benedict medal
Eucharistic Adoration and/or daily Mass
Establishing a regular prayer routine
“Pray without ceasing” (1 Thess 5:17)
In other words, keeping the powerful protection of Christ’s love in our hearts and souls at all times will seal us in His previous Blood and protect us from the evil influence of domestic abuse.
