Unwittingly Describing the Abuse Cycle
The Predictable Pattern of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)
The abuse cycle is the recurring pattern that keeps playing out, again and again, in abusive relationships. When a relationship initially begins, it tends to be roses and happiness—the “love-bombing” stage can last as long as the dating period lasts. Once an abusive personality realizes he “has” his target, whether through marriage, children, living together, or any other deep emotional bond, the abuse cycle begins to rotate in earnest …
The initial incident of abuse leaves a target feeling confused, dazed, and full of disbelief. What happened to prince charming? Happily, he soon returns after that first shocking break in trust. It’s then that you enter the opening act of the abuse cycle.
The “Adoration/Idealize” stage is when the abuser is contrite, kind, seemingly empathetic and caring, and extremely loving. It’s wonderful, and feels like such a relief after the cycle of mistreatment. But then it all falls apart.