Sarcasm as a Weapon: An Insidious Tactic of Verbal Abuse
Sarcasm as abuse.
This is a topic that doesn’t get written about nearly enough, even though it’s not only very common in toxic relationships, but also very damaging. The lack of information on sarcasm as a weapon of verbal abuse makes the tactic even more confusing, and causes a victim to wonder if she’s being “too sensitive,” just like he says. Or maybe she’s stupid … just like he says.
She is neither of those things.
Of course, a victim of domestic violence — and remember, “violence” isn’t just physical, but emotional, spiritual, psychological, and verbal as well — isn’t being too sensitive. In fact, chances are she’s feeling numb with shock as a result of months, years or decades of abuse. She’s also not stupid. At all. She’s a victim of the immense suffering of betrayal trauma.
Sarcasm in what should be a loving, trusting relationship demeans a partner. Sarcasm belittles the victim, hinting that she’s a child with a childish brain, or selfish and thinking only of herself, or insensitive and cruel. She feels as if she’s looked down upon by the partner she loves with her whole heart, her whole mind, her whole soul.
And, sadly, she is.
It’s true that “sticks and stones will break my bones,” but the rest of the saying is totally false. Verbal abuse hurts. And it hurts a lot, because it reaches into the very core of a person, touching their soul, demeaning their spirit and their true selves.