Insecurity Fuels Erratic Behavior
It may seem odd to state that people with erratic, explosive, coercive, or self-focused behaviors are, at their core, extremely insecure—yet it’s true. Their outward persona gives a vastly different perspective on what’s going on internally. The inward chaos, low self-esteem and insecurity causes them to forge thick walls of self-protection and defensiveness.
In my article, “Even Though Abuse Tactics are Universal, the Motives of Domestic Abusers Aren’t the Same,” I mention four types of abusive personalities:
Type I: Generally violent/antisocial
Type II: Family only
Type III: Dysphoric/borderline/survival-based
Type IV: Low-level antisocial
While motivation in no way excuses inexcusable behavior, it’s important to understand that the root wound of all of these types is extreme insecurity. They feel inadequate, so they have to “prove” their adequacy by squashing others, by controlling them, and by acts of self-focused manipulation in order to ensure they come out on top.
This type of lashing out can be seen not only in the home with intimate partner violence, but anywhere else—including on a global and historical level. A wonderful example can be seen in the personality of the medieval pope, Urban VI, who was elected to the papal throne in 1378 after the death of mild-mannered Pope Gregory XI. Almost as soon as he was elected, Urban VI proved himself the opposite of Gregory, displaying none of the social grace, affability, or decorum of his predecessor.
Instead, Urban’s explosive temperament shocked the College of Cardinals, and his erratic behavior drove them to try to claim his election invalid. The cardinals’ refusal to recognize the properly chosen pope—after all, he was legitimately elected, despite his unstable behavior—caused the dissenting cardinals to elect an anti-pope, Clement VII, which ushered in The Great Schism.
St. Catherine of Siena remained faithful to the true pope and tried to facilitate a reconciliation, while at the same time she refused to turn a blind eye to Urban’s abysmal behavior. In 1378 (letter 291) she boldly urged Urban to be “clothed in charity” and to root out all selfish love and vice, and in a prayer composed in 1380—just months before her death—Caterina implored God to let Urban’s heart “be seasoned with Your holy humility.”