The Powerful--and Sadly Effective--Tactic of Abusive Isolation
At this point in history we're all familiar with isolation, but what some people don't realize is that isolation is a powerful and effective tactic also commonly used by domestic abusers.
At this point in our strange, globally-mandated lives, isolation is likely no stranger to any of us. There are uncanny similarities to what we’re all going through due to virus fears compared to someone in a domestically abusive relationship. Even so, isolation takes on a vastly more complex level when instigated by an intimate partner. In domestic situations, isolation is not only a negative situation imposed upon us by an outside force, but paradoxically it also becomes a comfortable and habitual—if dangerous—friend.
Isolation becomes a comfortable and habitual false friend.
An abuser isolates his target for several reasons, all of which boil down to one main intention—coercive control so as to manipulate his target into submission. This is accomplished in various ways.
The excessive jealousy of an abusive personality gives him a suspicious, anger-filled need to frequently check up on his victim when she’s out of his physical grasp. He hides his true motives behind an ineffective mask of “I love you” and “I just want to be sure you’re safe,” leading a victim to feel cherished and protected. She’s blind-sided into submission, not realizing that this sort of “protection” isn’t only false, but is potently dangerous to her wellbeing.
A manipulative abuser doesn’t want his target to develop or maintain outside friendships, nor will he permit her to hear opinions that vary from his own (because that might cause her to think for herself, and therefore become free and independent). Besides, if she has outside friendships, she might get clued in to the fact that there’s more out there. She might begin to realize that there’s something severely wrong with her own relationship, an awareness an abuser wants to avoid at all costs (whether consciously or not).
How does a manipulative person accomplish his goal of isolation (again, whether conscious or not)? It takes a series of progressive steps, steps that cause his victim to slowly adapt to the “new normal” of his increasing control until, before she’s even aware of it, she’s living the life he mandates. Her own life has dripped away, bit by bit. Or, in the words of good ol’ Jacob Marley, “Link by link, yard by yard.”