Do What Makes Your Soul Sing
Create the soul space to let God enter
Domestic abuse isn’t merely a threat to our safety—it’s a threat to the core of our identity. Like a frog in a pot, we slowly stop wondering about our own needs and preferences; our full attention and energy becomes focused on the moods, demands and unpredictable expectations of the person mistreating us. The more time goes by, the more we seem to lose touch with our inner self.
Although we may try to hide our sorrow, confusion, and internal disarray from those around us, the consequences of abuse are often painfully obvious. Many years ago, when discussing my own journey with my adult daughter she confessed to me, “I knew I’d lost my mother when you stopped singing and dancing around the house.”
Her comment came as a shock because I’d lost touch with that part of myself. I realized that I’d forgotten that I once did things purely for the joy of them.
Recovering from the effects of abuse isn’t merely learning how to feel safe again—it’s rediscovering the person you once were. By reconnecting with what brings you joy, meaning, and a deeper relationship with God, you can begin to reclaim the self that abuse attempted to erase. I realize that can be difficult, especially if you feel like that “other person” is utterly lost—or worse, dead. Yet she’s not. She’s still there inside, waiting for rebirth.
Do what makes your soul sing.
Those of you who are new to my Substack may wonder why I call it Create Soul Space. The answer is simple: when you consciously create the space within your soul to recapture the person God created you to be, you begin to take your power back. When you embrace the talents and gifts God has blessed you with, your soul is strengthened, set free, and able to soar once again.
The power of creativity
One of the best ways to reignite your true self is through the power of creativity. Made in the image and likeness of God, we’re all called to be co-creators with Him. Those who have no traditional artistic talents tend to think of themselves is not being the “creative type,” yet in truth we’re all creative in one way or another.
What forms of creativity makes your soul sing? Are there any activities that cause you to lose time when you become so absorbed in them? What activities make you feel like yourself again?
Example include:
Dancing
Singing
Carpentry
Knitting, crocheting, sewing
Listening to music
Playing music
Creative writing
Sketching or painting
Collage work
Beading
Scrapbooking
Decorating
Outdoor sports or activities
Working on cars or other forms of mechanics
Other ways to make your soul sing can include:
Engaging in a consistent and active prayer life
Spending time with cherished loved ones such as children or grandchildren
Spending time with pets
Watching funny and/or heartwarming videos
Reading novels
Serving others through charitable acts such as volunteering in your local soup kitchen or nursing home
Learning something new by taking online or adult ed courses
It’s not the specific activity itself that matters—what matters is how the activities reconnect you with your inner self, the parts that were buried under the avalanche of abuse. Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Not Merely Surviving, But Thriving
God doesn’t want us to merely survive this life—He longs for us to thrive. St. Thomas Aquinas defines true happiness as seeking after the perfect good, something that can’t be found in the created world, whether it be through objects or people (Summa Theologiae I-II, q.3 and q.5). The Perfect Good is God, so the complete fulfillment of our lives rests in Him alone. Being fully alive is to live in accordance with our God-given nature—in the words of St. Catherine of Siena, it’s being who we were meant to be so we can set the world ablaze (Letter T368).
People who attempt to manipulate and mistreat us often repeat negative messages about our value and worth. Sometimes they make outright verbal accusations, but often they’re manipulating our perceptions through subtle actions, hints, or under the guise of “being helpful.” Such messages include:
“Your opinions don’t count.”
“Your voice doesn’t matter.”
“Your needs are secondary to mine.”
“You have no idea what’s best for you, so I need to take care of you.”
Healing involves reclaiming the truth of who God created you to be. When He made you, He didn’t create a generic, repeatable person, just one among many. He created a unique soul with specific gifts, strengths and charisms. Your authentic self can never be destroyed—it can only be buried. And things that are buried can be uncovered and restored to their proper beauty.
Years of adapting to abuse and focusing on survival have likely kept the inner diamond of your true self hidden. When you empty yourself of all that is not of God—all the lies, gaslighting, and chaos of abuse—you create the soul space to let God enter. Through the “secret exchanges” of prayer, gratitude and creativity, the inner diamond of your soul will shine once again.
“I began to think of the soul as if it were a castle made of a single diamond or of very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions … In the center, in the very midst of them all, is the principal chamber where the most secret exchanges between God and the soul take place.”
(St. Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle)
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